For the last two weeks now I’ve been trying to get back into blogging. What do I want to say? Who do I want to be? I don’t really know yet. Buddha said: “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” I struggle with this. The whole, living in the moment thing. I’m either planning for the future or obsessing over the past. It’s my pattern.
I need to focus on occupying the space that I am in and just being. And even while doing the most mundane things, not letting my mind wander…taking off the damn earbuds!! Think about it: so many of us have earbuds in our ears EVERY TIME we leave the house. When we do that we don’t hear the birds outside, we don’t look at the sky, we can’t focus on the smells, even the bad ones, when we walk down the street. We can’t just be where we are. It’s a way of checking out. A way of bolting. Like checking our phones every 3 minutes. A way of leaving yourself. And for those of us with a habit of doing that, that’s not so good is it? Binge eating is the same. So is doing drugs. It’s a way to leave yourself for a time…but there is a downside to that: Eventually you have to come back. And the coming back part really sucks.
I went to a corporate event last week where one of the company big wigs spoke. He said that he started every workday by meditating. I nearly sprained the muscles around my eyeballs rolling them…I thought to myself, “Here we go, another person who has bought into this New Age guru crap–can’t he just be a typical corporate shill and give some sort of uber-masculine, Greed is Good-type speech and be done with it?”
But then a few days later, I started thinking about meditation. What is meditation really? It’s spending some time in your own head. It’s being with yourself for a few minutes everyday.
Meditation or prayer or whatever you want to call it is the opposite of the earbuds, the drugs, the binge eating or the obsessive planning or looking back. All those things are about leaving the present and wanting to be somewhere else. The meditation is about coming back. About being exactly where you already are.
And if you can’t stomach being exactly where you are and spending some quality time in your own head: That’s your REAL problem.